The other day I was translating a text from English to Danish. I found my self translating a paragraph, which I afterwards wasn’t too happy about. I defiantly would sound better, if I changed the order of the text, but I wasn’t sure of how much I was allowed to change.
The reply to my questions was: Change it as much as needed for it to be right in Danish and selling, but don’t change the meaning of the sentence. It doesn’t matter if you end up with 3 sentences instead of 2.
My advice, always ask, if you are in doubt. And If you are using a CAT-Tool, make sure to see the text in its original layout and in full, this way you get a better feeling of, whether the text is coherent or not.